Monday, September 20, 2010

Annoying Coworkers!

If your own annoying coworker story evokes sympathy in me, compels me to go to a convenient corner and huddle in a fetal position, or just makes me laugh out loud and point at you mockingly for your plight, I might send you a $20 Amazon Gift Card* in return!

In my career as a software developer, I once had an office mate (let's call him Jork) who had this habit of making the office we shared all dark and womb-like before I'd arrive in the morning, meaning he'd turn off the lights and close the door until it was just barely open.

This, in itself, was no problem. The problem was the smell. Jork was a large guy, and sweated fairly profusely. Also he used way too much laundry detergent, so it was a stifling wall of laundrysweat for me to encounter every morning. Usually when I'd arrive I would open the door and go grab some coffee just to let it air out a little.

He also had this loud, tittering laugh, like some freakin' obese goblin, whenever he'd read something funny or be watching some amusing video.

He was also flatulent like a motherfucker. Once he let one loose, turned to me and with a half-assed laugh said, "Heh heh... was that you?" What the fuck, Don Prudhomme, you can't hear yourself fucking fart??

Once when a buddy and I were in the office and Jork was still out to lunch, we happened to notice one of his desk drawers wasn't quite closed, so we took a peek inside. Hanging out in the bottom was a big bottle of Vaseline™ Intensive Care lotion.

Every few days the guy would ask me when I was leaving for the day. He would frequently work late, and he mentioned he didn't have broadband yet because his home was in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. I wish I could unimagine what I imagined after hearing that.

Wage slaves, you very likely have come across someone whom you would never choose to interact with outside the workplace.

Tell me your story! 


  1. Be creative, but please, be original. Make sure you're sharing your own tales of coworker woe.
  2. This is NOT a contest, and a recipient of a gift card is NOT guaranteed to be chosen. I'm simply offering to brighten the day of one or more people who are willing to share their story.

  3. By participating, you agree not to sue me for any reason whatsoever. This agreement remains in effect forever and ever, so help you God, Allah, FSM, Satan, or whomever / whatever you believe in.

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